According to NJ law, the medical examiner had 120 days to provide us with a final autopsy report on Alexander. Starting in January, I checked in periodically with the M.E.’s office to find out progress. When I called last week, I found out all testing had been done and the report would be available soon. I called again today and the report was ready. The M.E. happened to be in the office when I called, and she gave me the news over the phone. Alexander passing is officially being ruled Sudden Unexplained Death in Childhood (SUDC). This is what we expected to hear but it was still very troubling to me. I really wanted them to find something. Anything that would offer an explanation as to what happened to Alexander. In addition to the Mercer County Medical Examiner, a pediatric pathologist also reviewed Alexander’s case and both agreed on the finding.
Dan and I have to decide about completing the paperwork to include Alexander in the SUDC study being conducted in San Diego. Dan definitely wants us to do it. I was waiting to get the final autopsy results. Now that we have them, I need to process my feelings. I’m sure I’ll do it.
When Alexander was born, we signed up for cord blood storage through ViaCord. It was a small price to pay to have another way to protect him from a future illness. Little did we know, that protection would be useless against the silent threat that took Alexander away from us.In the mail today, I got a letter reminding us that the annual storage fee was coming due (a week after Alexander’s birthday). I called to find out our options regarding the cord blood. Dan and I have yet another tough decision to face.
It’s been a very emotional day for me as I continue to sleepwalk through what has become my life.
Remembering Alexander 
Oh Michelle, I am sorry and sad to read the news today. I’m glad you posted this. I wanted them to find something too! If I were there I would give you big long hug.
Dear Dan and Michelle,
I am so sorry that the report came back and there is no explanation. I am sure knowing the reason wouldn’t make it any easier though. I think of you, Dan and him every day, I so miss being able to see him and his smile and spend time with him, as well as just hear from you what neat event you were going to or what new discovery he had made. He was an angel and you two were the best parents. It doesn’t make any sense.
I can see you two participating in the study- if somehow it could help prevent this from happening to anyone else, it would be worthwhile. But take all the time you need to decide and do what you feel is best.
We support and love you both very much.
xo,
Molly